were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
