the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
