you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
