Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
