No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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