Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
