Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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