i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
so much tequila, so little girl.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
