so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
