Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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