Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
