Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
