i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
