i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
