Tell her she can't have a vagina
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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