I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize