you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
babies were throwing up all over the place
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
