I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
