He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
