make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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