she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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