he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
