I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
