Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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