I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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