at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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