I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
