I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
