Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
