I am puke
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
