Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
