Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
