The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
