just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
