My Higher Power is John Stamos
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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