Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
