Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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