I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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