I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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