You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
