The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
