I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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