fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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