Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
