just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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