apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just googled if crying burns calories
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i out mim tonsoeep
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
