i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
