either way he was missing a nipple.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
