Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
