I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
